Looking Back: Death to the Daleks

Introduction

The year is 1974. Jon Pertwee is moving on from his role as the Doctor, whilst the series itself is being ushered into a new and exciting era of poignance and variety, moving away from the safe, earthbound UNIT family format of the third Doctor - but this hasn't happened yet. We've still got a series to go, and with a new companion and a fixed TARDIS in the running, there is much reason to be excited about Season 11. Sontarans, Metebelis Three, Dinosaurs and Daleks  - what could possibly go wrong?

Here's what.

Terry Nation's back again! Yes, Terry Nation, a man whose only belief is in recycling and whose scripts rely almost entirely on jeopardy. I mean, yes, he created the Daleks, and praise be to him for that, but then... oh, he just lost it. He had his greatest hits; 'The Daleks', 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth', 'The Daleks' Masterplan' - even 'The Chase' was acceptable for its comparative originality. No, scrap that it's a piece of shit with a nice last episode. But then what?
Well after 'Masterplan' (which was fantastic), Terry Nation took a break. A Troughton break. He literally disappeared from Doctor Who for the Second Doctor's tenure, and the beginning of the Third's - and what came of this absence? 'Power', 'Evil' and 'Day of the Daleks', probably the three best Dalek stories of the time, even some of the best stories generally. David Whitaker and Louis Marks did things with Nation's creations that no-one was willing to do before. The concepts and notions introduced with these stories were, and still are, some of the most ambitious and original of any 60s Who, probably 70s too.

Terry Nation openly despised the two serials. 

He hated them. He thought that Whitaker and Marks had ruined his Daleks by exploring them on a personal level, introducing absorbing new concepts and motives and generally (to the vast majority of Who fans) improving them as villains. So he decided to come back and start writing the Daleks himself (again), which... didn't altogether work. Very much (apart from 'Genesis of the Daleks', but that was mostly Robert Holmes' work (and oh my does it show)).

So we got some boring runaround stories, two of which, in truth, didn't even need the Daleks at all.  The great nemeses of the Doctor were stripped, taped, lashed with paint and wheeled back on set, desperate to boost viewing figures and general popularity. Dalekmania made another half-hearted swing into Britain, culminating with this, 'Death to the Daleks'. And Jon Pertwee HATED the Daleks. 

Let's see how it all went, shall we?

Part One:

So get this - the first episode of this is actually pretty great. It's brilliantly shot, full of mystery and, surprisingly, quite well written. Ish. I'll massively dissect the exceptions to this, but that's probably just to make me feel better about liking something written by Nation this late in his career. Plus there's one line that just cracks me up. But that's coming.

We open in the TARDIS. Actually wait, tell a lie, no we don't. Oops.

We open in a desolate, dark, creepy, foggy landscape - in England we might refer to such a place as a Dorset quarry - and through this landscape is running a man. He is running from something we can't see, but which obviously scares him very much, and so by proxy scares us, because it's the unknown. Then this happens:

Phtoompf

So our poor man is shot in the stomach with an arrow and falls into a pool of misty liquid. That's kind of a dark opening. Maybe this is a place our main characters are going to end up finding themselves in soon. Perhaps. 

Now is the TARDIS bit. And actually, it's a fairly good scene - there's some nice banter between the Doctor and Sarah (to whose clothes the Doctor Who budget evidently didn't extend), and there is talk of Florana, which is a holiday planet. Evidently that's where we're headed, and is why Sarah's not wearing a whole lot, of course. Some red lights start blipping and there is worry and some shakes, and the TARDIS lights go off. Which is quite intimidating - not even a hand torch will work, so evidently bad is happening. We've gathered that. Things are so bad the Doctor gets his oil lamp from a crate, and it transpires that the TARDIS doors can be opened using a crank handle, which is... remarkably self-assured in terms of security. But there you go. Out onto the planet it is. 

Brisk, Sarah Jane?

So it's still all moody and dark. Sarah goes to get more clothes and tells the Doctor to stay where he is while she's gone, which he ABSOLUTELY fails to do. Seriously. It can't be much more than five seconds after she goes and he's off, and there are things watching him, and peril abounding. But it's a nice location, and it's at dawn, so I can't really complain. Long story cut short, he gets clubbed over the head. 

Sarah, reemerging con coat, gets scared upon finding the Doctor's lamp and goes back to the TARDIS, at which point she gets captured by an hilariously shrouded extraterrestrial being which has snuck in in the meantime. But instead of going on about staid narrative tactics, here's the lovely Holmesian-atmospherey desert/quarry I've been going on about.

Best bit of the story

Elsewhere, the Doctor has managed to escape his hooded captors, and runs off to find Sarah, who is in the hands of the natives and is being prepared for sacrifice. Ah no. This means the Doctor's going to have to save her in the near future. But the whole temple arrangement is quite cool, with all the chanting and bustling and carrying and incense-ing. Also the high priest is painted red. Like a tomato.

Latest Heinz product

I was going to use the word 'meanwhile' to begin this paragraph, but I used that in the last one, so I'll look up the dictionary definition of 'meanwhile' and use that.

In the intervening period of time, the Doctor has found a tripwire and cleverly set it off, releasing a big old Indiana Jones style boulder that doesn't do much else than alert a bearded Scottish man who runs at the Doctor and has a fight with him, before another man in the same uniform comes down and shouts at the bearded one, who's apparently called Galloway, to stop. The pair look pretty high tech but they have anachronistic bows and arrows. But bows and arrows are cool, so whatever (Galloway's Scottish. Really Scottish. Arrrarrarararworrworr Scottish. He's also kind of a dark character).

But the three of them go back to the space people's camp and meet the rest - Galloway the dark Scotsman, Hamilton the not-much-of-a-character young 'un, Jill the really-not-very-good-actress, and Railton the blah blah blah leader, since the real leader's in the bed in the corner with a load of bruises and stuff. They tell the Doctor about this space plague business that's ravaging the outer worlds, and how the only cure is in this mineral (parrinium) on this planet, which is called Exxilon, and is home to the Exxilons, and that there is a power drain that's... well... draining power.

The Doctor tells the space corps people about Sarah, and Jill 'the talent' Tarrant discreetly remarks - 'JUST SO LONG AS SHE DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT FORBIDDEN CITY OF THEIRS'. Oh, before I forget, prior to when Sarah was captured she found this giant massive glowing city. Is anyone else sensing that these two events may be in some unfathomable way connected?

City of the Exxilons

Back at camp, Hamilton rushes in proclaiming the arrival of the relief ship, and everyone legs it out towards its landing site - leaving their dying commander! Who buh wha? Anyway, the crew reaches some ridge or other and tracks the ship's descent (fun fact: they all look in different directions), then  follows it. At some point someone says 'that doesn't look like an Earth ship', which I suppose adds a sense of foreboding, and Galloway replies 'maybe it's that new Z-47 they've been planning'. Now hang about. If earth made, say, a hundred new ships for each letter of the alphabet, that would mean that (judging by Galloway's theory) by this time, Earth has made two thousand, five hundred and forty-seven spaceship models. When is this set?

I'll get back to the story now, sorry.

The ship lands, and everyone waits for a bit until Peter shouts about being a welcome party and why don't you come out of your saucer. So the doors open and we wait a moment and then - Daleks! Except this cliffhanger kinda makes me want to switch off. The music, that 'dun-dun, Dun-Dun, DUN-DUN!'? Errgh. The predictable Dalek threats? Humph. The awful cast reactions? Aaaargh! Then we get a Dalek gun flip-flipping and credits. Sigh.

 More flop than flip

Part Two:

I hate it when titles spoil cliffhangers. Especially with the Daleks. There's always meant to be a big reveal at the end and then - Oh wait, didn't I already know that because it's called 'Planet of the Daleks' or 'Destiny of the Daleks'? And it's no different here. However, we do get the Dalek-guns-not-working factor, which is... different. And also I really like these Daleks.

I think these Daleks are awesome. Their look, I mean. Silver again? Black bits? Non-functioning weapons? I don't know, I like these Daleks because they're just so seventies. They take elements from the sixties (yay!), but in essence they are the epitome of seventies Daleks. It's the whole slightly recycled, slightly silly look that just makes them not only bearable to watch, but enjoyable too. They also have the benefit of being voiced for the first time by the brilliant Michael Wisher, later to play Davros in 'Genesis of the Daleks'. These Daleks are good Daleks.

Can you imagine them in 'Clangers'?

Terry Nation, however, is silly.

I mean, it's startling to what extent he has absolutely no grasp of how to write his own creations. He makes them so... weak in this. Back in the day, a single Dalek could've destroyed an entire colony without power or a gun. Now? Four versus five, and they team up. Who knows, maybe this was a way to get at Whitaker for what he had supposedly done to the Daleks. But seriously? There are four of them! Four! Let's play good news, bad news.

Bad news: as you've probably gathered the two factions team up and head to the mining dome to see what's what. Good news: they are ambushed by Exxilons halfway. Bad news: the Daleks are still shit. Because there's this thing in Doctor Who about the Daleks being indestructible, shielded, impenetrable, a big threat. Which is good, that's how it should be.
And then one explodes 'cos it gets hit on the head with a bit of wood.

Oh for the love of God

How is this happening? A Dalek just got blown up with sticks! Wooden sticks! This was never meant to be! What were you thinking, Nation! What were you thinking!

Anyway, the Exxilons force the good guys to hand themselves over by showing them that they have Commander Stewart - I did think it was a bit foolish to leave him in camp - and they are taken to the temple, wherein the Doctor interrupts the closing stages of Sarah's sacrifice and cause a hell of a ruckus, the outcome of which puts him on the death list too. Oh dear. Ah well, still a chance, right?

In the meantime, Galloway's made a deal with the Daleks about getting parrinium, which means killing off the Doctor and Sarah, so that's taken care of already. Actually, there is a really dark bit where Stewart, right on death's door, calls Galloway over and tells him that Hamilton is to take command, and then dies. Galloway closes Stewart's eyes, like people always do, and says (really softly) 'I'm sorry, commander, I couldn't quite hear what you said.' Oh that's dark. That's so very, terribly dark. And it also establishes Galloway as a real bad guy, rather than just a gruff Scotsman. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Railton got shot in the heart with an arrow and died. Earlier, that happened. Didn't register much.

As all this is taking place, the secret extra Daleks back at the ship are testing their new machine guns on a tiny weeny TARDIS. 

Is this what Daleks do in their spare time?

What I find hilarious about this is that they even have a mini TARDIS to test on in the first place. I mean, do they have a drawer on board every Dalek saucer than contains a stock of scale TARDIS replicas, should there be a break in activity and the crew have nothing better to do? Where are these things made? Are they fashioned by Dalek engineers?

I feel I'm moving off track again.

'Substitute weaponry moderately efficient!'

So these two Daleks go and test their machine guns on some passing Exxilons, and shoot them dead. And I like this. It starts to re-establish the Daleks superiority over the other characters and beings, and gives the story a new, much better threat to have to deal with. Also - Daleks with machine guns? Yes. Yes all over.

The newly-kitted-out Daleks helpfully interrupt the Doctor and Sarah's sacrificial ceremony with their new weapons (I love how the ceremony is constantly postponed and delayed by chaos - very silly), and the pair escape down the hole they were going to go down anyway.

Good old scary tunnels

Up top the Daleks take control (yay!) and threaten all the Exxilons until they agree to help with the mining. Also they totally spit their deal in Galloway's face, which is a thing Daleks like to do. Two newly armed Daleks pursue the Doctor and Sarah down the tunnel, and the rest leave for the diggings.

The Doctor, meanwhile, has abandoned Sarah yet again to go and scout around down the tunnel - does this say something about the pair's newly formed relationship? Maybe. I reckon it's clear that the Doctor doesn't value Sarah quite as much as he will grow to. But that's just me. The Doctor makes it about halfway down the tunnel before he encounters a massive awesome green-eyed metal snake.

Which was nice

Part Three:

So now there's an evil deadly root to contend with too. And you know what? I like it. I think that Terry Nation, for all his faults, can do a pretty good job of encapsulating that sense of adventure and mystery that some stories can often fail to convey. And a giant snake blowing up a Dalek with a machine-gun can't go too much amiss, can it?

So there's some serious kabooming that happens. To the Dalek, of course - Terry Nation can't seem to resist destroying them. The Doctor escapes and heads back to find Sarah, who, as I forgot to mention at the end of the last episode, has met Bellal!

Yay!

Yes, it's Bellal, the wonderful, subterranean Exxilon who almost became a member of the TARDIS crew! Because it was a close thing. It only came down to the cumbersome nature of the costume in the end - that's what I've heard, anyway.

After another narrow Dalek-related escape, Bellal explains to the Doctor about the city - how it destroyed its creators and left the Exxilons primitives and such and such. The Doctor naturally decides to destroy it, and takes Bellal to accompany him in the city. And here's what I find weird - why doesn't Sarah go to the city instead of Bellal? She really hasn't done much in this story so far, so why not give her the 'Doctor's assistant' role rather than the 'Doctor's friend who helps out'? It doesn't seem to make much sense, putting her out the way. Since it's her second ever story. And stuff.

Meanwhile at the diggings, the root strikes again, knocking a flaming Dalek off a cliff and scaring a bunch of Exxilon workers, who run off. It looks impressive and provides a fun interlude.

So the Doctor's made it to the city with Bellal, regardless of whether it shouldn't have been Sarah Jane, and some Daleks follow them in a very Nation-esque predictable manner. Doctor and Bellal do a test, Daleks do the test, Doctor, Daleks, Doctor, Daleks and so on and further. It's kind of dull to watch. Oh, and the worst cliffhanger I've ever seen is approaching.

Aaaaaaaaaagh!

Part Four:

Yeah. It's the patterned floor cliffhanger. That's literally the final shot of the third episode. Is it scary? No! Is it meaningful? No! Does it present peril? No no no no no! It's just a pattern on the floor! It is red and white! It is made of irregular shapes! IT IS NOT A CLIFFHANGER! It's a patterned floor! This is less like a cliffhanger than a grassy hill in Somerset with a gentle incline, the kind of place you might take an aunt to die! It means nothing whatsoever!

Sigh. Anyway, the Doctor and Bellal do some hopscotch over the cliffhanger and safely make it to the other side. That's it. I reckon I could jump that cliffhanger and still be in better shape than this Dalek - 

Except it's not fair, Daleks can't jump

I read the Target© novelisation of this story the other day. It was written by Terrance Dicks, who co-wrote such classics as 'The War Games' and 'The Brain of Morbius', and is, on the whole, slightly more well-regarded as a writer than Terry Nation. In the book, the Dalek looks at the city healing itself and says - 'Note that the city has self-regenerative qualities'. In this the Dalek says - 'This suggests that the city is indestructible'. I mean, really? Indestructible? Anyone else feeling the hints of condescension? I mean, yeah, it's a kids show. But kids want to be treated like adults, man. Plus the Dalek saw one panel regenerating itself. Don't give us Daleks making assumptions like that.

Oh by the way, there's this Exxilon watching a screen as the Doctor and Bellal complete their tests - what's that all about? I mean, all he does is disintegrate as the air wafts into the chamber. Can that really be all he's in the story for? Sitting there dead? I'm confused...

What is he for?!

That's not to say I don't like what goes on inside the citadel. The challenges, the Daleks, the mystery and danger - that's all very good. The bit where Bellal points the gun at the Doctor? Scary as hell! He seemed like such a nice little Exxilon - it's all mind control, of course, but that's still a terrifying thought. Also, the madness test affected my brain.
The pair reach the control room and the Doctor starts tampering (unaware of Hamilton and Galloway actually preparing the explosives to knock out the power drain as he does so), which triggers these things that everyone calls antibodies. I like the antibodies. They're big and menacing and 'indestructible'. And made of clay. In fact, all looks appropriately lost until the Daleks save the day yet again when they storm in and start smashing stuff up. It's cool to watch.

 Antibodies

Did I mention how much I love these Daleks?

Can I just mention (seeing as I've failed to do so already) that in one part of this episode a Dalek discovers that Jill Tarrant has escaped from under its guard, and instead of being proactive and going to look for her, it BLOWS ITSELF UP!? I mean, really, what does this do for a so far average-to-cringy story? Does it make any difference whatsoever to the protagonists and their struggle, or aid the narrative in a way that is poignant and intriguing? No! Instead, it takes the already distressingly weak Dalek characters from their crushing crèche of defeat and disappointment and plunges them into a state of disrepair, at which point I, as a viewer, began to long for Tom Baker's renewal of Dalek history in the upcoming 'Genesis of the Daleks'. Hmph.

Anyway. The Doctor and Bellal escape and make it back to the Dalek saucer, by which time the last of the parrinium is being loaded on by the recently returned Hamilton and Galloway (actually it's not parrinium, that all got loaded onto the Earth ship - the Dalek ship's full of sand). The Daleks do some gloating and explain their plan, which is relatively simple; blackmail the rest of the galaxy with the cure for the virus the Daleks created. In fact, all that's missing is Galloway. Now I wonder where he could be...

Was that a bomb he was holding earlier?

The Daleks take off, leaving our protagonists to be bacteria-bombed (lovely) and all seems lost. Ahem. May I quickly point out that this is the third time everything's seemed lost. Nothing bad's happened yet, and, thanks to a quick suicide-bomb by Galloway, blowing up the Daleks and their precious sand, nothing really will. It's all a bit inconsequential, but it's nice to see Galloway redeemed. Power drain gone, everything's ready to go back to normal again. Isn't that a shame?

Last Words?

I blame Terry Nation. It's become more and more evident to me that he had no idea what he was doing when it came to his later stories, especially something like this or 'Destiny of the Daleks'. It's a real shame, because Dalek stories should be great. And some were. Think of 'Power' and of 'Evil', of 'Day', 'Genesis' and 'Remembrance'. Those stories are the true Dalek stories - the great ones. In fact, this is a massive irony because none of them were penned by Terry Nation save for 'Genesis', and even that is said to have been almost completely rewritten by Robert 'wow' Holmes. 

I suppose I shouldn't slag 'Death to the Daleks' off too much. It's got The City, it's got excitement, it's got Daleks with machine-guns... all in all it should have been fantastic. Had it been written by Whitaker or Holmes, I imagine I'd be looking at it in a totally different way. I think that sometimes creator's license can go too far, and 'Death' is a prime example of the way this affected Pertwee's latter Dalek stories. Considering the events that were about to take place in 'Genesis', it's a real shame that the original Daleks had to be ushered out in quite this way.

Looking Back: The Sontaran Experiment

Introduction

So as you've probably noticed, I'm starting off easy. Of course, I'm not saying that 'The Sontaran Experiment' isn't an interesting story, but just that's it's a two-parter, and, as the Classic Series goes, two-parters didn't swing around very often (not counting the fifty-minuters of Colin Baker). When one did appear it was usually for economical reasons - it was always going to be cheaper to make three six-parters and a two-parter than, for instance, five four-parters (I don't think this actually happened in the classic run, but it's just an example).

Season 12 was, as most classic fans will know, fantastic. It saw the introduction of Tom Baker, the series' longest standing Doctor to to date, of Harry Sullivan, UNIT's old-school Medical Officer, and of Davros, the tyrannically insane creator of the Terry Nation's Daleks. It also heralded the return of two other popular villains; the Cybermen, not previously seen since Patrick Troughton's epic adventure 'The Invasion', over seven years previously; and the Sontarans, having been introduced the previous year with Jon Pertwee's historical classic 'The Time Warrior'. The Season was also the first to possess something of a running narrative throughout (and into 'Terror of the Zygons' the next year) - a route that Doctor Who would not go down again until the gargantuan 'Key to Time' saga four seasons later.

So it was always going to be a big 'un.

'The Sontaran Experiment' came at the halfway point of Season 12, sandwiched rather unflatteringly between 'The Ark in Space', an all-time fan-favourite, and 'Genesis of the Daleks', voted numerous times as the best Doctor Who story of all time - enough said. This unfortunately left director Rodney Bennett in a bit of a pickle - to first try and repeat the success he had enjoyed with 'The Ark in Space', and second to make a two-part story with a strict budget into the awesome it needed to be in order to fit in. Oh, and it had to be filmed entirely on location.

Let's see how it went, shall we?

Part one:

We open on a desolate moor, beset by a dark sky and pale sun. On the ground lie some silver orbs. All is mysterious and bleak, and things are immediately feeling very far removed from the 'safe adventures' of the Pertwee era. And no sooner than everything's set up we get our heroes, materialising badly. Honestly, the whole Sarah-Jane in a thicket thing feels more than a little bit contrived, and the upside-down-flourescent-clothing arrangement doesn't help either. That doesn't feel Holmesian at all. Which is a shame, because it was all going so well, but there you go Rodney Bennet.  So the Doctor starts fiddling with the orbs (no euphemism intended) and Sarah and Harry go off for a bit. Didn't they learn from the Ark not to do that? Tch. Ah well.

The Doctor Arking about as usual

So it's all alright so far. There's been some nice dialogue and interplay, with the surrounding area turning out to be London and such and such. Some crosshairs looking at the Doctor. Lovely. At least no-one's fallen down any crevasses.

Oh, Harry.

So Harry falls down a crevasse. Sigh. Ah well, the situation is salvageable yet, as a stricken Sarah runs to get help from the Doctor, who turns out to have disappeared. Bugger. However, help is soon at hand from a new character, Roth, who explains that he has been tortured by an alien living in the rocks. Now I like Roth. I like his panic. I think his fear is believable - ex-torturee, fleeing from a mysterious something in the dark old bleak old rocks? Now that's cool, and it really picks up on the hammer horror elements of Robert 'Wow' Holmes later stories. All good. Roth the distressed then continues to explain to Sarah the plight of his fellow astronauts (yeah, he's an astronaut), having crash-landed on this terrible planet, and that Vural, their leader, is somehow getting chummy with the rock-monster. Hmm, betrayal. Like it. And could it possibly link in with those crosshair people from earlier? I think it could...

Remember these guys?

So the Doctor's been captured by the other astronauts, which is kind of neat, and ties things up a bit more. They have a chat about Nerva, and how it's all a myth. Vural talks about the distress signal they responded to, and how their ship was vaporised as it came into orbit, and how there were nine of them but now there are only four. Wasn't that the premise for a book recently?

Anyway, Vural instantly blames the Doctor for the deaths of his crew, which is kinda suspicious, and threatens him with a hot poker. Charming. It's around now that the Doctor sees the camera attached to Vural's spacesuit. I'm going to need a bigger quizzical hat. But alas! The wonderful Roth creates a diversion, and in the madness chase that ensues, Sarah is able to free the Doctor, and the two end up rendezvousing with Roth at some prearranged point. Did I mention that all the astronauts are South African? Well they are. Sarah guides the Doctor to where Harry fell, and this is where I get a little ruffled. Because, for reasons unknown, the Doctor falls down the crevasse. So there are two people who have fallen down the crevasse. And it's the same crevasse.

Oh dear. Oh dear me

And then Sarah and Roth are captured by a robot that looks like this.

>sigh<

It's the scaffolding monster. That old chestnut. And, let's be honest, it doesn't need to be in this story. Really really. All it does is wobble around Dartmoor glittering. Mm. So okay, it's kind of cool when it descends, and yes, the animation when the ropes fly out is effective, but really - it looks like a camping table, and has about as much use as one, even in Dartmoor. I heard the other day that it was meant to glide, and it sort of made me sad that it didn't, because without said skill, all it has within its power is to trundle endearingly. And piss rope.

So Sarah and Roth are taken by the fold-up chair to a small plateau among the rocks, which, barring silly robot, is an awesome place to set the rest of the story. Atop a small outcrop sits a strangely familiar silver sphere. Oh wait... this rings a bell. The music goes up a notch, Harry appears from behind the rock (having regained consciousness and navigated his way out of the crevasse), Roth trembles masterfully and Sarah waits in anticipation. It's all very exciting. A door opens in the sphere, something steps out, something strangely, potato-ly familiar, takes off its helmet menacingly - it's a Sontaran!

Part Two:

Oh, yeah - Sontarans are cool.

I think Styre is awesome. I think he is really, really good. He is an amazing character. Maybe not quite as cool as Linx from the previous Sontaran story 'The Time Warrior', because, well, Linx is the best Sontaran ever. But still - damn. It's something in his alien-ness. His aggression. His - Sontaran-ness. It must be the way he's written. There's a part very early on in the second episode where he sees Sarah and exclaims 'Ah! The female of the species!', and that is so interesting, just to mark out the alien in Styre more. The bit where he examines her and smashes her neck back and forwards? That is seriously wrong. That's not what we want to see happening to Sarah Jane, and maybe it's not something you might have seen in Doctor Who at all until Hinchcliffe and Holmes. It's an incredible piece of writing/directing, though, and is part of the reason that I prefer Styre and Linx to their later replacements (who were often incompetent and looked rubbish) - that and the sword fight, but I'll talk about that later. So Sarah and Styre do some predator-prey chatting in which Sarah mistakes him for Linx, which is lovely and dangerous. Then Roth tries to escape. Ruh-roh. 

'The female of the species!'

So Styre shoots Roth. Just like that. Bam. And so now we're in danger. This Sontaran will just shoot you, and that has an amazing effect. We know Styre is a dick, but now he's a mega-dick. A menace among dicks. Looks like things might be looking up for this story at last.

HOW DID IT FIT?

Styre returns to his hideout and calls up his superior on a big yellow communicator that somehow managed to fit through the door to his tiny spaceship, and it is revealed that Styre is part of a scientific assessment to define whether Earth is compatible for invasion, and there is some mutual tension from both ends of the line, even though the two are cloned and therefore must understand the delays that Styre is being forced to overcome. Am I overthinking this?

Look familiar?

So the Earth's being prepped for invasion - again. This, to be honest, didn't particularly surprise me the first time I watched the story. It's just a generic alien race takeover scenario, but in a dystopian future without many supporting actors. And you know something? I think it works well this way. Maybe that's just because the kind of aliens-vs-military format that had almost totally overshadowed the Pertwee era is just a little bit tired. I'm not sure. 

What comes next in this story, however, I did not see coming. It's kind of nasty.

Oh no, it's this bit

So yeah. You thought that bit earlier was grim. You know, the bit with Styre and Sarah Jane. Think again.

No-one wants to see a protagonist in pain. It's not something we're generally accustomed to, but nevertheless, it sometimes happens. No-one wants to see Sarah-Jane tied to a rock and subjected to hours of terror. But nevertheless, it happens. And it's nasty. The ropes become snakes and the ground becomes quicksand and the world turns over and over and, while the effects aren't necessarily fantastic, we get the gist of what's going on here. And all the while Styre is just sitting there, watching her scream from a safe distance. It's terrifyingly effective.

Predictably, the Doctor intervenes and removes Styre's hallucinogenic device, rendering poor Sarah unconscious. Styre approaches, aware of the interruption to his experiment, and the Doctor charges at him in anger, which is scary - the Doctor, losing his cool? Things must be bad. However, Styre knocks him back with lethal smack on the shoulder, and the Doctor's down.

Now, for those of you who don't know, Kevin Lindsay broke Tom Baker's collar bone on that shoot. And yet Baker kept going to the end of the scene. Just wow. I mean, wow. The Doctor actually got his arm broken by a Sontaran. This meant trouble - how would Baker be able to fight Styre in one on one combat? Would it even be possible for filming to go ahead?

Yes. Because this is Doctor Who. 

So Styre leaves the Doctor for dead, and the flat-pack robot captures Vural and his men. Vural spits out some spiel about his bargain with Styre - yep, so that was true then - and Styre decides to experiment on him anyway. Lovely Styre, wonderful Styre.

Lovely Styre, wonderful Styre

And then we get this really awful experiment in which Kranz and Erak have to stop a gravity bar from crushing Vural. It's a really nasty idea, and the way it's directed is brilliantly dark. Also there's a guy in a cave who's been chained up and deprived of water for three days. And trust me, it's horrific. 

Very Holmesian

The Doctor is eventually reunited with his companions, and devises a plan to destroy Styre, challenging the Sontaran to single combat - this appears to be a challenge Sontarans cannot refuse, even if the success of their race is jeopardised. Hm. 

Mind you, I'm glad they included this, because anything ever is made at least 70% cooler by a sword fight, even if one of the swords is just a branch. In fact, a sword-branch fight is probably even better. Anyone seen Les Mis? You'll know what I mean. 

So yes, the sword-branch fight is awesome, even if the Doctor is played by some other guy with a wig on. But you can't really tell, so that's alright. 

Sorry about the pixels - here, have another one - 

Yeah, have this one, this one has no pixels.

Weakened by combat thanks to Earth's comparatively low gravity, Styre is forced to return to his ship and recharge. Recharge? I've always found that odd. Unfortunately, Harry's gone and removed Styre's equipment, so lots of bad things happen and the ship ends up exploding. Oh, and Styre deflates. No, seriously.

DEFLATES

Immediate threat dispelled, the Doctor contacts the big chief Sontaran and says that Earth has the capability to defeat the Sontarans, so there. And the big chief Sontaran believes it. Which seems... odd. Ah well. It's Doctor Who. Sometimes you just have to go with it.

Dystopian Dartmoor

But yeah. That's kinda the end. There's some slightly odd Doctor addressing the camera business, a little Harry and Sarah quipping and then we're off. Le fin. 

Last words?

I reckon 'The Sontaran Experiment' could have been one of the greats. A sweeping four-parter with a multi-layered antagonist and his evil scary flying robot. COULD have been. As it stands, 'The Sontaran Experiment' wasn't the glorious return a race like the Sontarans could have had. That's not saying it's a bad story - it most certainly, certainly isn't. In fact, I've decided that it really makes an impact in Season 12, in it's own little way, even when surrounded by such fiercely impressive and important stories as 'Genesis of the Daleks' and 'The Ark in Space'. However, I said at the end of episode two that sometimes you just have to go with it, but it feels like that I've been doing that through the whole story, and that's not a good thing. There are some lovely bantery elements, disturbing concepts and brilliantly perverse notions - but with all the technical difficulties the serial was laden with, it was never going to become all it was cracked up to be. And this was, and still is, a crying shame. Still, everyone loves Styre and who can forget the Meccano monster, after all?

Prologue

Well, here I am at last. Blogging. Which is a good word. As is blog. You hear them both so much nowadays, it's sometimes easy to forget the real sound of the words - much like 'Hagrid', 'Laptop' and 'Sponge'. In fact, most words can be surprising in their own little way.

But enough of that.

I'm here, for at least a large proportion of the foreseeable future, to give you a detailed and only marginally opinionated view on Classic Doctor Who, from 1963-96, Hartnell to McGann. There will be twists, there will be turns, there will probably be rants, and there will most certainly be Daleks. Lots of them. So never fear. From my lowly desk, armed to the teeth with biscuits and a DVD player, I hope to provide any fan, newcomer or interested party with a comprehensive and entertaining view on the good old days of the series we all know and love (admittedly without having experienced said days myself, due to my comparatively and inescapably recent date of birth) - from Susan to Ace, from The Voord to The Master, from Skaro to Telos and from yo-yos to celery. 

I'd better get on with it!